Why we should take a strong stand on peer pressure when out in a bar (and how I tackle it)

Yesterday I finally managed to listen to a great episode of the Philip Duff Show with Tim Hetherington-Judge. The episode lifted the lid on a topic I’ve often felt the industry doesn’t cover enough. Peer Pressure when out.

Please seek Professional Help if you are struggling.

Tim explains very well some of the dark sides of the Industry and he has created a fantastic Non-Profit called Healthy Hospo. Click on it to find out more.

After listening to his story, I decided I had to use my reach of Drinks Builders to raise the issue with a louder voice.

In this article, I am not gonna talk about the effects of alcohol or any health danger. I leave that to other people who are much better than me at it. I am just gonna talk about the actual moment in which we are pushed to drink by what seems to be innocent peer pressure.

We work in a great industry with many friends and contacts but we handle something very dangerous. Alcohol. Some of us are lucky enough to manage it responsibly but some aren’t. For this reason, we must be super conscious about it and avoid putting people in the spotlight when they don’t feel like drinking.

We all wanna build brands. We wanna grow sales. We wanna have a few drinks when visiting bars. But that shouldn’t come at the expense of safety. This is with our fellow Drinks Builders Community but also (especially) with those who are not part of the industry.

Why? First of all, it’s just wrong to force people to do anything, let alone do something as drinking. Something that may even lead to criminal offenses when mishandled.

Secondly, you don’t know the reason why that person doesn’t wanna drink that night. It could be on medicaments, being pregnant, being in a dangerous emotional state, or just not feeling like it or just not wanting to tell you why.

Guess what? It’s their right.

Especially those of us who are older should set the example. Let’s be more active in educating the younger generations and those just entering the industry.

This article is not an Inquisition. Regardless of what has happened to us, if we’ve ever or never done it before or not, it doesn’t matter. It’s about taking a firm stand in the future to make our industry a better place. It’s about being more aware of it when and if we see it happening in our group or outside.

We’ve all been there. It may happen at any time of the night. It could be at the start of the evening or it could be at the end in one of those “one for the road” or “nightcap” moments.

What makes it even more likely to happen for those working in the industry is that it often comes with free drinks (whether expensed or offered by industry friends).

How many times have you been called “weak” (yes, I’m avoiding the actual word) for saying no to a drink? I often thought about it. If I somehow gave up sometimes and ordered that extra drink, how tough would it be for someone else not as strong in that circumstance?

Now that I think I made myself clear, I wanna give some tips about how I handle such situations. It’s not a rulebook, but you may find it helpful.

1. Say No or Make up an excuse.

It’s not always easy but do that. No means no. If that doesn’t work seek for help of someone else in your group or the bar. Make a bold statement if needed: Are you forcing me to drink? Do you want me to drink and drive? That should make them stop.

2. Fool Them

If the above doesn’t work or you don’t wanna confront them, this is something I do when I don’t feel like explaining myself: I just order a tonic and ask them to put a slice of cucumber or lemon in it. The fake Gin & Tonic. Otherwise, I order something neat so I carry on all night with that one drink in my hand (no ice to melt).

3. Leave their glass full

It often happens to me. There’s often that funny person who just doesn’t get it. They keep bringing me shots or drinks. So when I get that extra drink, I just leave it on the table or I bring it back to the bar. Yes, it annoys them. That’s the point. It may be a lesson for next time for them. If they like wasting money and helping sales, let them be your guest.

Let’s promise each other we’ll take a stronger stand when we see it happening next time whether to us or someone else.

Let’s keep the industry sustainable.